Interviews with the characters from SPFBO 10, with a little help from the authors that wrote them.
In this case Some Humorous Sword and Sorcery fantasy from Dave Dobson
Name (and title if appropriate):
Lady Isovar Vargrave, originally of Ostoria, now knight errant
Written by:
Books you appear in (links welcome)
In no more than 5 words explain your ambitions:
None shall forget my heroism
Favourite place and why?
My favorite place is wherever miscreants taint the world with their conniving, squirrelly ways. That is where you will find me, Bloodchopper in hand, meting out swift justice to those who commit evil deeds.
By justice, I of course mean injury by chopping, in case that wasn’t clear. Some people do not have my gifts when it comes to metaphor, so it is often best to be overly specific. Especially if you are making a record of my answers to these questions, which I hope you are.
There is no weapon that does not answer to my call. I have trained in all styles of fighting, and my skill and prowess leave entire libraries, entire fencing clubs, nay, entire armies red-cheeked with shame at their inadequacy.
However, I currently favor a greataxe, which I have granted the name Bloodchopper. Adapting my fighting training and expertise to a weapon of this size has been a fun little challenge. Plus, it looks absolutely smashing holding an enormous axe when the weapons of others are puny and short.
I am unable to share all the details, because Chevson keeps muttering about “rights of first publication” and “spoiling the surprise” and such things, but I believe I may let you know it involved riding a massive, scary beast through the sky. And don’t believe anyone who says the beast has a silly name. That is false. Scurrilous, even.
When one’s deeds have such obvious import, as do mine, it is difficult to know which challenge I have overcome will end up being the most significant. That is a task to be left to future archivers and historians. I have slain foul demons, awful mages, corrupt monarchs, and monsters that walk the land. I have no doubt changed the course of history many times in these endeavors, although because that history is technically now, I cannot immediately perceive what course history now takes because of my history-changing work. Except that I am sure history will now be better, because those people I slew were terrible people and would have continued their crimes and misdeeds had I not brought their malevolence to an end.
The beasts and demons also were terrible. Not just the people. Just to be clear. All terrible.
What? Well. I am not sure that is relevant. I…
I suggest you check the account Chevson is writing about my life. It is sure to contain all the information you might desire about my childhood. Although most of my miscreant-smiting occurs now that I am full-grown. I think. Anyway, the bits from my adulthood are the juicy, full-throated parts of the story. Children are boring, are they not? Too weak to fight, always need rescuing, and their clothes are so tiny.
What kind of question is that? I always make the best choices. Ask Chevson. He is sure to agree, because he witnesses most of my choosing. He disagrees with some choices, but he is constantly proven wrong when he does, as I’m sure he will confirm.
Erm. I am not one given much to theology. However, I suppose I would say, “Do not darken human hearts with knavishness or miscreancy, or I will come for you as well. I am not afraid to fight a god.”
I suspect there would be little point in saying this to the gods, however, because they must know it already if they are omniscient as people say.
Let all who read these words know this. Where evil dwells, where miscreants plot and scheme, where danger threatens the innocent, there goes Lady Isovar, fearless and righteous. What is wrong, she shall set right; who commits vileness, she will slay, and who has suffered, she shall free. Unless their suffering means they’ve already died, which sometimes happens. In that case, freeing them would mean little, because they would just lie there. In those cases, there is always the vengeance-in-their-name option, which is quite a good choice, actually.
